Coming up for air

We have had our hands (and heart) full these past few days and I am finally feeling like I can catch my breath and come up for air.  Who knew having a newborn was hard work?

Between the 5 day hospital stay, coming home and organizing our new life, getting used to a new routine and trying to figure out what exactly we are doing, things have been busy.  I have not checked my e-mail in days and blogging has certainly been put on the back burner but it has been killing me not to give an update.

Our story was a crazy one, but I wanted to share while things are still fresh in my mind (luckily, things are starting to wear off like they say).  Things certainly did not go as planned, but the hours leading up to her birth were nothing short of incredible nonetheless.  Looking back on our "birth plan" not one thing went accordingly, except for having a healthy baby and healthy mom in the end.

Here is our long story short(end): After about 28 hours of natural labor (albeit using unnatural techniques - i.e induction), I opted for an epidural in order to get some rest and hopefully get to a point where I would be able to deliver.  After the epidural, I only progressed another centimeter, for a whopping total of 4.5 in 40 hours.  Clearly, my body was not ready for an induction despite the fact that my fluid around  Logan was very low.  It became apparent to the doctors that my body was not going to progress enough to deliver without intervention.  We had to face the tough reality of a c-section, which was made tougher by the amount of hours and work that were already put forth.  We agreed to move forward with no other options available and unfortunately were greeted with the rude awakening that having a c-section can be just as tough as labor.  The c-section was horrible despite the fact that I was so excited to finally get her here.  The epidural did not quite take and I could feel a good portion of the surgery.  I was in tears, pain and panic for the 20 minutes in the operating room.  When Logan finally arrived, I was so emotionally and physically drained that it was hard to fathom what was going on.  The recovery period was longer than I would have liked and I finally remember actually holding my sweet girl quite a while after I was settled into my room.  I will never forget the wave that flooded over my entire body the first time I really felt her in my arms.  Truly, the best sensation I have ever experienced.  My eyes are teary as I write because although the experience itself was unimaginable most certainly not ideal, the little girl that resulted absolutely is.

I should also mention Chris.  He was the reason I was able to keep going.  I saw a side of him that I knew existed, but never had seen.  He rose to the occasion and was by my side every little step of the way.  And I mean every step.  Roaming the halls, laboring in the tub, gripping the bedside, crying when I kept receiving news that I had made no progress.  He was there with a calming strength and I will be forever grateful.  I have a wonderful husband and an awesome partner for parenthood.  I can't wait.

Whew - so that's that.  Those days seem like months ago and life is moving along smoothly for the most part.  Typical newborn stuff of sleeping, eating and pooping added to one restless night of a screaming child who could not be soothed.  It's not easy, but it is, for the most part what I suspected.  Even better!

Hope you all are well.  Here are a few pictures that I suspect Logan will hate me for one day.  I could not resist seeing her in the big (and semi-ridiculous) bows even though she was less than thrilled.

Cheers!