When it comes to weight loss, I can't find my mine and it's driving me nuts.
I really hesitated to write a post like this, as I am sure many of you do not care about weight loss. Let alone mine.
Yes, I know I should be thankful for a healthy, functioning body. Yes, I know that beauty comes from within. Yep, I also know it's bit vain to post about how you look / want to look. I even know that it's probably one of the most trivial things to write about. Correction: perhaps my weekend purchases trump the weight thing in terms of 'trival-ness'?? Hmm.
Anyways, usually it is one of the above reasons that stop me from writing about weight. But not today. Because today, I'm frustrated.
As many of you know (and some all too well - my dear coworkers, friends and husband), for the past several weeks I have been tracking points, exercising, watching portions....er, let's call it what it is I suppose. Following Weight Watchers. Oh, and by past several weeks, I mean 10.
And you want to know what I have to show for it? 5.3 freakin' pounds. 5.3 people - just barely a 1/2 a pound per week - and that's on a good week. And I fear that at tomorrow's weigh in, it will be more like a plain old 5. I can feel the .3 creeping back on as I'm writing this, just to tick me off.
Most people can lose 5 pounds just by thinking they want to lose 5 pounds - 10 if they actually say it out loud! Chris can walk around the block once and lose 5.3 pounds. These Biggest Loser yahoos are dropping pounds like it's no body's business. 5.3 a day probably. Even my cat - I swear, he's lost more weight than I have lately.
Let me tell you that after 10 weeks, that's 70 DAYS!, of writing everything I eat, foregoing several second glasses of wine, getting up early to work out a few times a week, taking the stairs everyday at work, eating 5 servings of fruits and veggies, etc., etc., etc. I think I deserve a little more than the weight loss equivalent of a Chihuahua. Right?
Thus the lack of motivation. I would really, really like a piece of cake right now. I would love some french fries. I would die for a bowl of ice cream...a big one. And running? I care never to tie my laces again.
Why not just give in you ask? Throw in the towel for a day? Well, I think it's the same reason why the term 'motivation' exists in the first place. It's because even just 5.3 pounds feels way too good to give up. To see your efforts pay off is a great feeling. It's more than a number at that point. It makes you proud. It makes you smile. And as crazy as it may sound, something as small as 5 pounds makes you feel like you can conquer anything....well, except for maybe another 5 pounds - haha.
So, Weight Loss Gods (don't I wish), can't you help me out? I'm not asking for a miracle here. I don't care if I never am able to wear skinny jeans - I don't even think they're that cute. I don't need to wear white summer shorts. I don't even want to own a 'Teeny, Weeny, Yellow, Polka Dot Bikini'. I do, however, want to get to my goal. And although I'm not sure where to look, I hope that my motivation can be found again!