4.16.2009

Boy-isms

Why is it impossible for a boy to make a bed correctly? Clearly the left side of the duvet cover should not touch the floor while the right side is up so high the mattress is showing.

Why do their clothes get the funkiest of smells? I swear something died in the pair of biking shorts sitting a top our laundry basket. I had to place them in two plastic bags this morning so I could get ready in peace. I fear that something may start growing in there by this afternoon.

Why do boys think it's perfectly acceptable to have a Tony's frozen pizza (think cardboard-like crust, un-identifiable pieces of brown stuff which I think are supposed to represent sausage and frozen bits of "green peppers") when we're having his parents over for dinner and thinks I'm nuts when I say that we will NOT be serving Sir Tony to our guests.
Perhaps it's worse that we even have a Tony's frozen pizza in our freezer. Shame on me for not filtering this one out of the grocery cart. Bleh.

Why do they insist on cuddling with you and snuggling up against you at 4:50 AM before they have to get up for work? Really? Come on babe, get a clue. You knew that kick to your thigh was coming.

Why do they tell you they love making coffee for you in the morning, but when they suddenly swap their morning joe for tea as of late, the coffee very mysteriously stops getting made? Huh, yea - very interesting.

Why do they wait until you are in all of your pms-ing glory to have an opinion on your looks? "Those shoes really don't match your dress." "Didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?" "Are you sure you want to wear your hair curly today? I really like it straight."

A) Um, you're right. They don't "match". But NEWSFLASH - a green dress with a green necklace AND green flats just may be St. Patty's day-gone bad-overkill. So fear not, green and pink are complimenting colors and go quite well together my friend. Thanks though, for looking out for me and all.

B) Yep, I did wear this shirt yesterday and I just might wear it again tomorrow and perhaps the next day too. It's the only thing in our closet that doesn't make me look like a beached whale. Comprende?

C) Do you really think I just spent 45 minutes holding my hand up in the air with a 90 degree curling iron 2 centimeters from my face getting these curls to perfection because I wanted to wear it straight? Duh.

Now, I am not talking about any boy in particular, of course. Nope, my husband hasn't done any of the aforementioned things. he's. perfect.

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