Thankful

I promise this will not be your traditional "I am thankful for my friends and family" (although I certainly am) type of post.

Instead, I wanted to reflect on something that I am really blown away by and thankful for every day:

Forgiveness.

I am honestly so thankful that not only do I have the ability to choose to forgive someone else and they are able to choose to forgive me, but that I also have the ability to forgive myself.

Let me just preface that I have been feeling...pause for reflection to find a word other than 'bad'...frustrated, bored, lonely, unfulfilled and selfish for the past few weeks. And those feelings have really sent me into a tailspin of feeling sorry for myself and about myself. Turns out feeling sorry for and about yourself is kind of a horrible place to be. I have been here before, mind you, but I have been out for so long that I can not recall how to deal with such a negative state of mind.

And so, I have been reflecting on how to make things better because two weeks is two weeks too many to wake up and go to bed feeling mad, sad, wronged and lost. And living the in-between portions angry at just about everyone because of how you feel.

Alas, back to forgiveness.

Chris is excellent at forgiving. And I mean, really good at it (parental bonus points to Jane and Dave!). He won't bring up the subject again, he won't hold it against you at a later date, he won't forgive you just because you say you'll forgive him - he'll do it regardless. And for that, I am thankful. He has really shown me the power of forgiveness.

And while another person's forgiveness is pretty amazing, I think who better to forgive me than well, me? It's an odd concept and one that I have not quite grasped, but I am working on it.

Today, I'm over feeling sorry for myself. Feeling wronged. Feeling overwhelmed with negativity, feeling unfulfilled and resentful. And I'm certainly over bringing others down with me (this post being an exception, of course).

This thanksgiving, I am thankful that there is an act that is so genuine, loving and sincere that can actually transform my thoughts and actions.